A Crisis of Disconnection: Men's Emotional Pain and a Path Forward
- Jun 11
- 2 min read
Men are in crisis. Many are suffering deep emotional pain and have little to no idea how to talk about it. A glorified culture of machismo has long taken root and maintains a death grip on men desperate for connection rooted in emotional vulnerability. The consequences of the absence of that connection are devastating. Men desperately fighting an innate need are struggling - suffering - personally and in relationships both informal and deeply intimate.
Well-intended or not, men’s suppression of emotional affliction is a recipe for disaster, ultimately manifesting as misguided and harmful emotional responses that inflict further damage on a micro and macro level. The cycle is vicious and pushing many toward or past a breaking point. Pain that needs to be expressed, seen and heard has nowhere to go. The death grip presents itself in the university, the workplace, the gym, the poker table - you name it. Men seeking non-sexual intimacy rooted in vulnerability, authenticity and trust are either not finding it or convincing themselves it’s not necessary. Or both.
The coaching I provide offers an opportunity and a hopeful path forward. That offer could not be made without my dedication to listening. Because I know its value and what is often at stake, listening is not something I take lightly. When we are in session, I am not checking my phone. I am not thinking about what I forgot at Costco and when I’ll be able to go back. I am fully and totally immersed in what is happening for you and actively listening to everything you are saying and everything you are not saying. It is that type of grounded, committed presence that creates a firm foundation upon which the session builds. I do everything I can to make that foundation as firm as possible.
My work has demonstrated time and time again men’s deep and unfulfilled need of being in the presence of someone committed to listening. Men, I believe, have little to no idea how to “talk about it” largely because of how routinely they are met by those unwilling to listen or incapable of truly listening. In a culture plagued by the “three-second scroll,” intentional and sustained listening is rare. My aim for you as a client is to make it standard and ultimately help clear the way for a better path forward.
Art Dickinson, CPC
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